Normal Baseball is Not My Department

He is out there playing normal baseball. Completely normal. Nothing unusual is happening.

Fernando Tatis Jr. takes the field and the question is never whether something remarkable will occur but only what form it will take and whether the unwritten rules committee will have opinions about it afterward. He hits a ball in a manner that suggests he was enjoying the process of hitting it, which in certain clubhouses is considered controversial. He fields his position in ways that cause broadcasters to say things like "you don't see that very often" and "I've been in this game for thirty years" in close succession. He plays with a level of exuberance that is either infectious or a problem depending on which dugout you are sitting in, and he does this consistently, game after game, in Petco Park and in ballparks across the country, to the delight of Padres fans and the consternation of everyone who believes that baseball should be played in a more measured and less entertaining fashion. Everything is normal. Please relax. This is just how baseball looks when Fernando Tatis Jr. is playing it.

The Tatis Normal Baseball tee is for Padres fans who have watched Fernando Tatis Jr. do something that made them look around to confirm that other people also saw what just happened. District DM130 Perfect Tri® Tee — featherlight, broken-in soft, and available in Black Frost, Desert Tan Heather, Soft Yellow, and White. Wear it to a game where he will do something worth wearing a shirt about. Wear it at home watching him do something worth rewinding. Wear it as a commitment to paying attention, because with Fernando Tatis Jr. in the lineup, inattention is a risk you take at your own expense.

• 4.5 oz. — light enough for a fan in constant motion tracking where the ball went and why it went there and how he got to it that quickly
• 50% polyester / 25% combed ring-spun cotton / 25% rayon — tri-blend construction that holds together better than opposing pitchers’ composure when he steps into the box in a high-leverage situation
• Rib-knit neck that maintains its shape through nine innings of completely normal, unremarkable baseball events
• Tear-away label — no irritation at the collar, unlike the 3-0 grand slam, which was fine, it was a fine baseball play, everyone has moved on
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping for a structured fit appropriate for someone watching something that will be on a highlight reel by 11 PM
• Available in Black Frost, Desert Tan Heather, Soft Yellow, and White — colors for San Diego, where the baseball is normal and nothing unusual ever happens on a Tuesday night in the second inning

Size Chart