Hair First Baseball Second

When Bryce Harper walks to the plate, something arrives before he does.

It is the hair. The hair goes first. It has always gone first. It entered the national conversation early in his career and has not left, because it is genuinely remarkable hair — not remarkable in the way that requires explanation or justification, but remarkable in the way that requires only observation, which is that it moves, it flows, it has its own presence, it does things under and around a batting helmet that batting helmets were not specifically designed to accommodate but which they accommodate anyway because the hair has decided this is how things are going to work. Bryce Harper does not walk to the plate. The hair walks to the plate, and Bryce Harper follows it, and then something happens at the plate that is worth watching, but the sequence begins with the hair, and the hair knows it, and everyone in the stadium knows it, and the pitchers facing him know it in a specific way that is slightly different from how everyone else knows it, which is that they have to get through the hair and then get through Bryce Harper, and these are two separate things they have to deal with in rapid succession. The hair is not a distraction. The hair is a statement. The statement is: we are here now, and the we is inclusive, and the hair is part of the we, and this has been true for a long time and shows no sign of changing.

The Harper Hair First tee is for Phillies fans who have watched Bryce Harper approach the batter's box and taken a moment to appreciate the full presentation before the baseball began. District DM130 Perfect Tri® Tee — featherlight, broken-in soft, available in Black Frost, Red Frost, and White. For fans who understand that Bryce Harper is a complete package, and that the package leads with the hair, and that this is correct.

• 4.5 oz. — light enough for a fan who appreciates that great hair requires great air circulation and has made their shirt choice accordingly
• 50% polyester / 25% combed ring-spun cotton / 25% rayon — tri-blend construction that holds together through a full season of Bryce Harper walking to the plate and the hair arriving slightly ahead of schedule, as it always does
• Rib-knit neck that holds its shape through the broadcaster noting the hair, which they do, because it has been sixteen-plus years and the hair continues to merit notation
• Tear-away label — no irritation at the collar, just a clean, well-built shirt for someone who has watched the hair clear the dugout steps and felt a small surge of anticipatory excitement about what was coming next
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping for a structured fit appropriate for someone standing in Citizens Bank Park when the hair and the man it belongs to are heading toward something that the pitcher is currently reconsidering his entire approach to managing
• Available in Black Frost, Red Frost, and White — Phillies colors for a fan watching a Phillies player whose hair has its own following, which is a subset of his larger following, which is already quite large

Size Chart