Five Tools I Thought We Were Collecting

The complete scouting report. Five tools. All present. All accounted for. Evaluation complete.

The five tools are: hit for average, hit for power, speed, arm strength, and fielding. A five-tool player possesses all of them at a level that scouts consider at minimum above average and at maximum the reason they are now on the phone with their general manager at eleven o'clock at night saying things like "we need to talk about this." Mookie Betts hits for average. Mookie Betts hits for power. Mookie Betts runs in a manner that suggests he has given the matter of running considerable thought and arrived at a highly optimized conclusion. Mookie Betts has an arm. Mookie Betts fields his position in a way that has produced multiple Gold Gloves and a number of highlight plays that have required the people watching them to sit down briefly afterward to collect themselves. He does all five of these things. He does them consistently. He does them in the regular season and in the postseason and in games that matter and in games that are already decided and at Dodger Stadium and in other stadiums where the fans are not rooting for him but are watching him anyway because he is doing things that are worth watching regardless of affiliation. The scouting report runs out of room. It says: five tools. It does not say anything else, because there is a limit to what a scouting report can contain, and Mookie Betts has reached it.

The Betts 5 Tools tee is for Dodgers fans who have watched Mookie Betts do something in the field immediately followed by something at the plate and felt the specific quiet satisfaction of watching a genuinely complete baseball player be genuinely complete. District DM130 Perfect Tri® Tee — featherlight, broken-in soft, and available in Grey Frost, Royal Frost, and White. Wear it when he makes the catch. Wear it when he hits the home run. Wear it when he does both in the same inning, which happens, because he has five tools and he is not shy about using them.

• 4.5 oz. — light enough for a fan watching a player who covers a lot of ground very quickly and would appreciate a shirt that doesn’t slow you down either
• 50% polyester / 25% combed ring-spun cotton / 25% rayon — tri-blend construction that holds together through a full season of Mookie Betts demonstrating, in sequence, all five tools, sometimes within the same at-bat
• Rib-knit neck that holds its shape through the broadcaster listing Mookie Betts’ accomplishments, which takes a moment because the list is longer than anticipated
• Tear-away label — no irritation at the collar, just a clean, well-made shirt for a fan watching one of the most complete players in baseball do complete things at a very high level
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping for a structured fit appropriate for someone who has watched Mookie Betts do something that required all five tools simultaneously and is still processing how that was possible
• Available in Grey Frost, Royal Frost, and White — Dodger colors for a Dodgers fan watching a Dodger who has, by any reasonable measure, all five of the tools and has been using them continuously since he arrived

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