{"title":"Sarcasm \u0026 Everything Else","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot everything needs to be about sports. 😎\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchor\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFrom sarcastic one-liners and everyday skull to work, hobbies, holidays, family, food, and those wonderfully questionable life choices—we’ve got a tee for it.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"friday","title":"Friday","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou made it. Friday is here. Monday is 63 hours away. Live accordingly.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFriday is different. Friday has a quality that no other weekday possesses, which is the quality of being Friday. The moment Friday arrives — and you know the moment, it is somewhere around 9 AM when it becomes undeniably real that you have survived the week and the week is now in its final lap and the finish line is visible from where you are standing — something shifts in the collective energy of every office, every job site, every group chat, every commute. People are more generous on Fridays. Decisions get deferred to Monday with a lightness that would not be possible on a Tuesday. Email responses get shorter and warmer simultaneously. Someone brings donuts. Someone else says \u003cem\u003eTGIF\u003c\/em\u003e in a tone that is more sincere than it has any right to be and yet is completely correct and everyone in the room agrees. Friday is the day the week has been working toward. Every Monday morning survived, every Tuesday endured, every hump cleared, every Thursday clock-check that turned up Thursday instead of Friday — all of it was in service of arriving here, at Friday, at the end of something that needed to end and has now ended, or is in the process of ending, or will end at 5 PM, which is very close to now relative to where you were on Monday morning, which feels like a different era of human civilization from this vantage point. Friday is black, like the rest of the week. But it is a different black. It is a Friday black. You know the difference.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eFriday\u003c\/em\u003e tee is for people who have felt the specific and unrepeatable emotion of a Friday afternoon — that combination of relief and accomplishment and mild disbelief that another week has in fact been gotten through — and who wanted to wear something that acknowledged this feeling while also, technically, making it to Monday in about 63 hours, which is fine, you will handle it, you always do. District DM130 Perfect Tri® Tee — featherlight, broken-in soft, available in Black. The fifth and final day. The one you earned.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e4.5 oz. — light enough for a Friday, when you want to feel as free as possible while still technically being at work for a few more hours, which you are, and which is fine, because it is Friday, and Friday makes everything approximately fine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e50% polyester \/ 25% combed ring-spun cotton \/ 25% rayon — tri-blend construction durable enough for a full Friday, including the part where it is Friday evening and you are celebrating having survived the week with the same people who helped you survive it, which is the correct way to spend a Friday\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRib-knit neck that holds its shape through someone saying \u003cem\u003eTGIF\u003c\/em\u003e and you responding with genuine enthusiasm, because it is genuinely Friday, and the G is genuinely earned after the week you just completed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label — no irritation at the collar on the one day of the week when irritation would be the most egregious possible offense against a day that has done nothing but be Friday and deserves to be treated accordingly\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for a structured fit worn on a day when you feel structurally sound in a way that Monday through Thursday could not quite sustain, because it is Friday, and Friday does that, and you are allowed to feel however Friday makes you feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in Black — the color of all five days in this series, worn here on the only day that makes black feel like a celebration rather than a condition of existence; same shirt, different Friday; collect all five if you are the kind of person who likes to document the full arc of the human week, which is a reasonable thing to want to do\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Chart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable id=\"sizechart\" style=\"width:100%; border-collapse: collapse;\" border=\"1\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSleeve Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e18\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e16 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e17 1\/2\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e20 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e18 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e22 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e23 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e25 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e20 1\/2\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e27 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e21 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e29 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e22\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Bleacher Psych Ward","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. 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DM130","offer_id":52339982598360,"sku":"19g61mti3uoor","price":21.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. DM130","offer_id":52339982631128,"sku":"19g61mti3uoos","price":22.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. DM130","offer_id":52339982663896,"sku":"19g61mti3uoot","price":23.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0832\/1004\/3608\/files\/ninjapod_media_1383215_471939_c6cf_FRONT.jpg?v=1788233182"},{"product_id":"thursday","title":"Thursday","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSo close. Still Thursday.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThursday is the most emotionally complicated day of the week. Monday is simple: it is bad, and everyone knows it is bad, and there is a collective understanding that Monday is bad that makes Monday somewhat easier to endure because at least you are not enduring it alone. Tuesday is nothing. Wednesday has the hump and the brief psychological victory of being halfway done. But Thursday is a different kind of problem, because Thursday is so close to Friday that you can perceive Friday from Thursday, you can feel Friday approaching the way you feel a weather change before it arrives, and this proximity is both encouraging and quietly agonizing because you are not in Friday yet, you are in Thursday, and Thursday is still a full workday with all the properties of a full workday, and the fact that Friday is right there, just across one night of sleep, does nothing to change what Thursday currently is, which is not Friday. People are warmer on Thursdays. Plans get made for the weekend. Someone says \u003cem\u003ealmost Friday\u003c\/em\u003e around 3 PM with a brightness in their voice that is genuine and earned and also, technically, incorrect, because it is almost Friday in the same way that almost arrived is the same as arrived, which it is not, and Thursday knows this, and you know this, and you still feel the pull of Friday all day long like a tide that has not quite come in.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eThursday\u003c\/em\u003e tee is for people who have looked at the clock on a Thursday afternoon, felt certain it was already Friday, checked the date, and processed the results with the quiet dignity of someone who has been in this exact situation every Thursday of their adult life and has simply decided to continue anyway. District DM130 Perfect Tri® Tee — featherlight, broken-in soft, available in Black. For a day that is doing its best given the circumstances of being directly adjacent to the best day of the week without being it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e4.5 oz. — light enough for a Thursday, when you are carrying the anticipatory weight of an almost-weekend while also carrying the factual weight of a full remaining workday, which is a lot to carry in both cases\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e50% polyester \/ 25% combed ring-spun cotton \/ 25% rayon — tri-blend construction that holds together through a Thursday during which you will almost certainly say or hear the phrase \u003cem\u003ealmost Friday\u003c\/em\u003e at least once, and feel the complicated emotion of knowing it is true and also not true at the same time\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRib-knit neck that holds its shape through the part of Thursday when you start mentally planning the weekend, which happens earlier on Thursday than it should, because Thursday is close enough to Friday that the brain begins weekend operations prematurely and cannot be stopped\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label — no irritation at the collar, because Thursday already provides a very specific low-grade irritation of its own, the irritation of a day that is good relative to what came before it and not quite good enough relative to what comes after\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for a structured fit appropriate for someone in the fourth day of a five-day week, which is the best position in the week to be in, mathematically, and which is still Thursday, which everyone in the building is aware of and is managing in their own way\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in Black — the color of the full five-day series, worn here on the day that is closest to not needing a coping mechanism and still, technically, needing one\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Chart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable id=\"sizechart\" style=\"width:100%; border-collapse: collapse;\" border=\"1\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSleeve Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e18\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e16 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e17 1\/2\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e20 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e18 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e22 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e23 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e25 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e20 1\/2\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e27 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e21 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e29 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e22\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Bleacher Psych Ward","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. 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DM130","offer_id":52339987022040,"sku":"19g61mti3xflk","price":21.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. DM130","offer_id":52339987054808,"sku":"19g61mti3xfll","price":22.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. DM130","offer_id":52339987087576,"sku":"19g61mti3xflm","price":23.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0832\/1004\/3608\/files\/ninjapod_media_1383237_471942_c6cf_FRONT.jpg?v=1788233310"},{"product_id":"wednesday","title":"Wednesday","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou are halfway through the week. This is the good news. The bad news is that halfway through the week is still Wednesday.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWednesday has a nickname. This is more than Monday has. Monday does not have a nickname because no one has ever felt warmly enough about Monday to give it one. Tuesday has nothing. Wednesday has hump day, which is a nickname that communicates both the geographical position of Wednesday within the week and also the specific effort required to get over it and down the other side, which is an acknowledgment built into the name itself that Wednesday is something to be gotten over, a thing you are climbing rather than enjoying, a midpoint you cross on your way to somewhere else rather than a destination anyone has chosen deliberately. People say happy hump day with genuine enthusiasm, because Wednesday represents the beginning of the downhill portion, and the downhill portion is Thursday and Friday, which are days that feel increasingly like the weekend without actually being the weekend yet, which is a feeling so much better than Tuesday that people will celebrate the arrival of Wednesday with a sincerity that the day, examined on its own merits, does not fully justify. Wednesday is fine. It is exactly as good as a day that is not Thursday or Friday can be. It has its nickname. It is doing its best. You are doing yours.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eWednesday\u003c\/em\u003e tee is for people who have said \u003cem\u003ehappy hump day\u003c\/em\u003e to a coworker and meant it with complete sincerity, because Wednesday really is better than Tuesday, and that is worth something, even if what it is worth is not very much in absolute terms. District DM130 Perfect Tri® Tee — featherlight, broken-in soft, available in Black. The color of a week that is still happening.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e4.5 oz. — light enough for a Wednesday, when you have survived Monday and Tuesday and now stand at the top of the hump looking at Thursday, which is close enough to Friday to be genuinely encouraging\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e50% polyester \/ 25% combed ring-spun cotton \/ 25% rayon — tri-blend construction durable enough for a full Wednesday, which is the most demanding day in terms of the specific emotional labor of being enthusiastic about being halfway done with something that has not finished yet\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRib-knit neck that holds its shape through someone telling you happy hump day and you responding in kind with a level of genuine warmth that surprises you slightly given that it is still, technically, Wednesday\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label — no irritation at the collar, because you have already climbed the hump and you deserve a small mercy on the way down, and this is the small mercy available to you at this particular product price point\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for a structured fit appropriate for someone who has made it to Wednesday, which is a real thing you did, and you are allowed to feel whatever you feel about it, which for most people is a cautious, moderate optimism\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in Black — the color of all five days in this series, because the week is the week, and the week is black, and Wednesday is no exception even with the nickname and the hump and the mild sense that things are beginning to trend in a direction you prefer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Chart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable id=\"sizechart\" style=\"width:100%; border-collapse: collapse;\" border=\"1\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSleeve Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e18\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e16 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e17 1\/2\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e20 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e18 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e22 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e23 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e25 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e20 1\/2\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e27 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e21 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e29 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e22\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Bleacher Psych Ward","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. 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DM130","offer_id":52339989217496,"sku":"19g61mti3z507","price":21.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. DM130","offer_id":52339989250264,"sku":"19g61mti3z508","price":22.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. DM130","offer_id":52339989283032,"sku":"19g61mti3z509","price":23.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0832\/1004\/3608\/files\/ninjapod_media_1383255_471945_c6cf_FRONT.jpg?v=1788233388"},{"product_id":"tuesday","title":"Tuesday","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot Monday. Not Wednesday. Just Tuesday.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTuesday has no story. This is the story of Tuesday. Monday is the one everyone talks about. Wednesday has a name people use — hump day, which is a thing people say with a level of enthusiasm that is slightly higher than the day actually warrants but at least represents an attempt. Thursday has the energy of something about to happen. Friday is Friday. Tuesday is Tuesday, which means it is the second day of the week and it has not done anything to distinguish itself from any other Tuesday that has come before it and will not do anything to distinguish itself from any Tuesday that comes after it, and this is not a criticism, this is simply an accurate description of what Tuesday is. It arrives. It is a weekday. Things happen during it that would have happened on any other day. It ends. Wednesday follows. Tuesday does not take this personally because Tuesday does not take anything personally. Tuesday has no investment in your perception of it. Tuesday has no investment in anything. Tuesday simply is, on a weekly basis, without drama or announcement, in the exact middle of nowhere particularly interesting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eTuesday\u003c\/em\u003e tee is for people who have looked at the calendar and found Tuesday there and experienced the specific emotion of finding Tuesday there, which is not an emotion that has a widely recognized name but which everyone who has ever had a Tuesday knows by feel. District DM130 Perfect Tri® Tee — featherlight, broken-in soft, available in Black. A shirt for a day that would not have chosen black but also would not have argued against it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e4.5 oz. — light enough for a Tuesday, which is a day that does not demand much from you and in return gives you approximately the same amount back, which is fine, this is fine, Tuesday is fine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e50% polyester \/ 25% combed ring-spun cotton \/ 25% rayon — tri-blend construction that holds together through a full Tuesday, which is a sentence that sounds easier than a Monday but which is its own specific kind of endurance, the endurance of a day with no narrative momentum in either direction\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRib-knit neck that holds its shape through the part of Tuesday where you remember it is still only Tuesday, which happens at approximately 2 PM every Tuesday without exception, and which is a moment of information that is true and accurate and not particularly useful\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label — no irritation at the collar, because one unremarkable thing per day is the quota and Tuesday has already filled it simply by being Tuesday\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for a structured fit appropriate for someone navigating a Tuesday with their full faculties intact, which is what you have to do, because Tuesday does not cancel itself, it simply continues until Wednesday begins, which it does, eventually\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in Black — the only color that adequately represents the experience of checking the date and finding out it is still only Tuesday and you still have the rest of Tuesday left to get through\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Chart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable id=\"sizechart\" style=\"width:100%; border-collapse: collapse;\" border=\"1\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSleeve Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e18\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e16 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e17 1\/2\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e20 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e18 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e22 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e23 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e25 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e20 1\/2\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e27 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e21 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e29 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e22\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Bleacher Psych Ward","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. 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It is simply there, at the beginning, where it has always been, doing exactly what Monday does, which is exist with a kind of impassive certainty that requires no explanation and offers no apology. The alarm goes off. It is Monday. The coffee finishes brewing. It is still Monday. You leave the house. Monday comes with you. This is the arrangement. It has always been the arrangement. The shirt is black because of course it is, because there is only one color that accurately represents the emotional register of a Monday morning, and that color is the one you are currently looking at, and wearing it does not fix Monday but it does communicate something true about your relationship with it, which is that you are aware of what day it is and you are managing accordingly and you did not need anyone to point it out.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eMonday\u003c\/em\u003e tee is for people who have arrived at work on a Monday and, when asked how they are doing, have said \u003cem\u003eit's Monday\u003c\/em\u003e and had that accepted as a complete and sufficient answer, because it is. District DM130 Perfect Tri® Tee — featherlight, broken-in soft, available in Black. Just black. There is no other option. There does not need to be another option.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e4.5 oz. — light enough for a Monday when you need every possible advantage and have decided that clothing weight is where you are drawing the line today\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e50% polyester \/ 25% combed ring-spun cotton \/ 25% rayon — tri-blend construction that holds together through a full Monday, including the part where it is still Monday in the afternoon, which surprises no one but remains mildly unwelcome regardless\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRib-knit neck that holds its shape through the part of Monday where someone asks if you had a good weekend and you have to briefly return to the weekend in your mind and then return to Monday, which is where you currently are\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label — no irritation at the collar, because Monday provides enough of that on its own and the shirt has decided not to contribute\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShoulder-to-shoulder taping for a structured fit that communicates you have not given up, you are simply aware of what day it is, and you have chosen to dress in a color that reflects this awareness with complete accuracy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in Black — there is one color option and it is correct and nothing further needs to be said about it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Chart\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable id=\"sizechart\" style=\"width:100%; border-collapse: collapse;\" border=\"1\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eChest\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 8px; text-align: left;\"\u003eSleeve Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eXS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e18\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e16 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e17 1\/2\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e20 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e18 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e22 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e23 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e19 3\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e25 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e20 1\/2\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e27 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e21 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e29 1\/4\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 8px;\"\u003e22\"\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Bleacher Psych Ward","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. 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DM130","offer_id":52339994394840,"sku":"19g61mti4261a","price":21.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. DM130","offer_id":52339994427608,"sku":"19g61mti4261b","price":22.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL \/ District DM130 District  ®  Perfect Tri ® Tee. DM130","offer_id":52339994460376,"sku":"19g61mti4261c","price":23.72,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0832\/1004\/3608\/files\/ninjapod_media_1383359_471951_c6cf_FRONT.jpg?v=1788233529"},{"product_id":"monsters-have-feelings","title":"Monsters Have Feelings","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe ref didn’t see it. The coach made the call. The front office did what they did. And you felt every bit of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eMonsters Have Feelings\u003c\/strong\u003e tee is Halloween’s most honest shirt — for the fan who brings full emotional investment to every game, every October collapse, every inexplicable roster move. The monsters in the movies are misunderstood. So are you, standing in the kitchen after the fourth quarter, explaining exactly what went wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou’re not irrational. You’re not a monster. You’re just deeply, genuinely invested. And this October, you’ve got the shirt to prove it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDistrict DM130 Perfect Tri® Tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e4.5 oz. | 50% polyester \/ 25% combed ring-spun cotton \/ 25% rayon\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTri-blend softness with a naturally broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRib-knit neck | Tear-away label | Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in Black Frost, Green Frost, Grey Frost, Red Frost, and White\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eSizes XS–4XL. 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Wear it to the office party, the gift exchange, the family dinner where someone always brings up politics, or any other December event you didn't technically agree to attend.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMade on the \u003cstrong\u003eDistrict DM130 Perfect Tri® Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e, this is the rare holiday shirt that actually earns its keep. 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